changes.

'Always' and 'Never' are two really big words and I feel I'm still a novice to use them. So many 'always's and 'nevers' have altered over the years. The damp in the mezzanine floor which always returned every July and never stayed longer than October has been an integral part of my growing up. It gave the pages of the old books in the room a characteristic smell. The smell of monsoon and things very old. But last year once baba renovated the house, the damp did not return and shall not do so for many years to come . Atleast baba hopes so. Never have my parents been as old as they are-my baba nearing an age when he will get pensions and free tickets to multiplexes. My ma no longer complains about her hairfall. The complaints are now about hair that is fast greying. So many 'always's have changed into 'nevers' in their lives as well. Ma, who made it mandatory for her family to brush their teeth before retiring to bed has herself given up on the habit altogether. She feels too tired after completing the chores which she has always been doing for the last twenty five years. I, too am fast approaching an age when the 'what next' question is beginning to gnaw at my conscience. When 'next' will not mean choosing optionals for my next semester. It will also mean smiling even more broadly at the face of failures and rejections. It will also imply that the 'I love you' that I have been saying always and everyday to my loverboy will have additions like ' I love you very much', ' I love you enough to take you home to meet my dad' and then ' I love you so much so that I want to spend the rest of my life with you'. The loverboy too has never been what he is today. Never has he been a man before-a man who comes in sweats but smells sweet of hard work. Friends have always 'been there'. But never have some 'been there' in such ways that they have served as learning lessons. Lessons which have taught you to choose your dignity instead of idle hours wasted over tea cups and small talks that leave you spitefully satisfied. Life is such. Never in Kolkata has winters been so warm ,the sky so grey and the trees still so green.